A Nod to Mommy Groups

A few years ago, in another lifetime and lifestyle, I guffawed at the idea of “mommy groups.” I mean, really, the label doesn’t even sound very exciting, does it? Who would want to sit around with a bunch of moms?  What, would they swap formula stories and talk about diaper rash? How boring (and gross)! You’d never find me at one unless I was dragged tooth and nail.

My, my, how things have changed. Why, as soon as I could escape the confines of my house for longer than one hour, I swaddled up my baby and went to various Mommy Meet-Ups. (www.meetup.com is a great site to find all kinds of clubs in your area, not just for parents).

I admit, at first I was rather desperate to meet other moms with children of the same age and to have actual conversations elevated above “goo goo, ga ga.” And yes, the conversations tended to revolve around whose baby ate what, how long they slept and what milestones they’ve hit.  Frankly, it was great to meet and talk with other moms going through the same trials and tribulations that I was. What a relief to know I wasn’t all alone! And once we got through the introductions and baby stats, it was actually quite interesting from a social-experiment-kind-of-way to watch moms try to out-do each other in relating their baby’s latest achievements. Creepy too, but to compare is part of the female nature.

Now that my girl’s a toddler, I’ve enrolled her in various “mommy and me” classes like art and dancing. Both to learn new things and to play with other little people.  She’s got to learn to share somewhere, right? But to be honest, the classes aren’t all just for her. They’re for me too. Rather like the majority of the toys I buy her are because I want to play with them.

The topics of conversation between toddler parents have changed somewhat ( from what vaccinations you have to who knows their ABCs and can count to 3).  There’s still the one-uptoddlership going on, as moms either glow with pride on their tot conquering the toilet to those who turn away because they haven’t treaded those dangerous waters yet. Fascinating to watch parents preen themselves with toddler milestones.  The whole potty-training thing often leads into mom cliques, just like in high school–the cans, the cants but trying and the haven’t even tried yets. But I digress.

What I really enjoy now is that since the kids are that bit older, we parents can actually converse about non-child-centric issues. Once we’ve strutted their stats first, of course. (I swear it would be easier if I just created a card ala a baseball card, with all my girl’s achievements, including age, likes and dislikes and her nap schedule. ) I mean, where else can you treat yourself to ice cream and pseudo-intellectual conversation while your child engages in fun activities under the tutelage of someone else?  Or dish about celebs & politics while spending quality time with your wee one? Mommy groups and classes rule.

So while non-parents may boo-hoo mommy groups and think they are duller than a grain of sand, to moms and dads alike, they are a lifeline.  There a place where people of like-lifestyles can get together and  just hang out, knowing everyone else is in the same boat. And they can be quite fun, too!

Besides, what new parent would want to sit in a room with a bunch of singles talking about the latest dance club and how many shots they downed Friday night?  How passe.